K11 Owners Group

drikko · Posted: Thu Jul 26, 2012 4:09 am Post subject: Irish vs The French!

The French President is sitting in his office when his telephone rings (bit out of date now).

'Hallo, Mr. Teacozy !' a heavily accented voice said. 'This is Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County Clare, Ireland . I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you! We voted to reject the Lisbon treaty!'
'Well Paddy, my name is Sarkozy he replied. How big is your army?'

'Right now,' says Paddy, after a moment's calculation, 'there is myself, me Cousin Sean, me next door neighbour Seamus, and the entire darts team from the pub. That makes eleven!
Sarkozy paused. 'I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100,000 men in my army waiting to move on my command.'

'Begorra!' says Paddy. 'I'll have to ring you back.'

Sure enough, the next day, Paddy calls again. 'Mr. Sarkozy, the war is still on. We have managed to get us some infantry equipment!'

'And what equipment would that be Paddy?' Sarkozy asks.

'Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor.'

Sarkozy sighs, amused. 'I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 6,000 tanks and 5,000 armoured personnel carriers. Also, I have increased my army to 150,000 since we last spoke.'

'Saints preserve us!' says Paddy. 'I'll have to get back to you.'

Sure enough, Paddy rings again the next day. 'Mr. Sarkozy, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We have modified Jackie McLaughlin's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Shamrock Bar have joined us as well!'

Sarkozy was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. 'I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100 bombers and 200 fighter planes. My military bases are surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I have increased my army to 200, 000!'

'Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!' says Paddy, 'I will have to ring you back.'

Sure enough, Paddy calls again the next day. 'Top o' the mornin', Mr. Sarkozy! I am sorry to inform you that we have had to call off the war.'

'Really? I am sorry to hear that,' says Sarkozy. 'Why the sudden change of heart?'

'Well,' says Paddy, 'we had a long chat over a few pints of Guinness and packets of crisps, and we decided there is no fookin' way we can feed 200,000 prisoners.'
_________________
K1100RS '97
Laverda RGS 1000 '84
Jim Young Trailer Sailer 5.7M WB

DISCLAIMER:- Anything I say may have been when I was drunk so please don't take it personally.

'Bigamy is having one wife/husband too many. Monogamy is the same.'
Oscar Wilde

Number 6 · Posted: Thu Jul 26, 2012 12:28 pm Post subject:

Outdated joke, our president is now Hollande, Sarkozy is out.
_________________
I am not a number, I am a free man.

94 K1100LT

drikko · Posted: Thu Jul 26, 2012 12:33 pm Post subject:

Hence the "(bit out of date now)" addition at the top...... Smile

_________________
K1100RS '97
Laverda RGS 1000 '84
Jim Young Trailer Sailer 5.7M WB

DISCLAIMER:- Anything I say may have been when I was drunk so please don't take it personally.

'Bigamy is having one wife/husband too many. Monogamy is the same.'
Oscar Wilde

Number 6 · Posted: Thu Jul 26, 2012 11:59 pm Post subject:

Or you could have replaced Sarkozy by Hollande Laughing

_________________
I am not a number, I am a free man.

94 K1100LT

drikko · Posted: Fri Jul 27, 2012 1:23 am Post subject:

But then the "Teacosy" wouldn't have worked..... maybe I could have changed that to "Collanda".

Tough crowd today Laughing

_________________
K1100RS '97
Laverda RGS 1000 '84
Jim Young Trailer Sailer 5.7M WB

DISCLAIMER:- Anything I say may have been when I was drunk so please don't take it personally.

'Bigamy is having one wife/husband too many. Monogamy is the same.'
Oscar Wilde