K11 Owners Group

[endoman100]

Oil Change instructions for Women:

1) Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 miles since the last oil change.

2) Drink a cup of coffee.

3) 15 minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly maintained vehicle.

Money spent:

Oil Change: $20.00
Coffee: $1.00
Total: $21.00
==========

Oil Change instructions for Men :

1) Wait until Saturday, drive to auto parts store and buy a case of oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree, write a check for $50.00.

2) Stop by 7/11 and buy a case of beer, write a check for $20, drive home.

3) Open a beer and drink it.

4) Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.

5) Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.

6) In frustration, open another beer and drink it.

7) Place drain pan under engine..

Look for 9/16 box end wrench.

9) Give up and use crescent wrench.

10) Unscrew drain plug.

11) Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil: splash hot oil on you in process. Cuss.

12) Crawl out from under car to wipe hot oil off of face and arms.. Throw kitty litter on spilled oil.

13) Have another beer while watching oil drain.

14) Spend 30 minutes looking for oil filter wrench.

15) Give up; crawl under car and hammer a screwdriver through oil filter and twist off.

16) Crawl out from under car with dripping oil filter splashing oil everywhere from holes. Cleverly hide old oil filter among trash in trash can to avoid environmental penalties. Drink a beer.

17) Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to gasket surface.

1 Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.

19) Remember drain plug from step 11.

20) Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.

21) Drink beer.

22) Discover that first quart of fresh oil is now on the floor. Throw kitty litter on oil spill.

23) Get drain plug back in with only a minor spill. Drink beer.

24) Crawl under car getting kitty litter into eyes. Wipe eyes with oily rag used to clean drain plug. Slip with stupid crescent wrench tightening drain plug and bang knuckles on frame removing any excess skin between knuckles and frame.

25) Begin cussing fit.

26) Throw stupid crescent wrench.

27) Cuss for additional 5 minutes because wrench hit bowling trophy.

2 Beer.

29) Clean up hands and bandage as required to stop blood flow.

30) Beer.

31) Dump in five fresh quarts of oil.

32) Beer.

33) Lower car from jack stands.

34) Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during any missed steps.

35) Beer.

36) Test drive car.

37) Get pulled over: arrested for driving under the influence.

3 Car gets impounded.

39) Call loving wife, make bail..

40) 12 hours later, get car from impound yard.

Money spent:
Parts: $50.00
DUI: $2500.00
Impound fee: $75.00
Bail: $1500.00
Beer: $20.00
Total: $4,145.00

But you know the job was done right!
_________________
In the words of the stones
Time Is On My Side
Yes It Is
1993 K1100RS

[Klinker]

Too true!
_________________
tlp
1994 K1100RS

Only the Reasonists. They believe in an evidence-based world, something called Rationalism. But it's a tiny group, not so influential.
- Page Griffin

[SugarHillCTD]

Used to do the oil change for men. Then I did the first oil change on the new Cummins diesel truck that we bought 3 years ago. Really filthy oil and LOTS of it. OK, enough of that.

Now all three of our cars get the oil change for women- that I do. Cost is just about the same as if I do it myself and I stay clean.

Bikes are different- I'm doing those. Much less oil and I'm not under the vehicle having warm oil, rust flakes and dirt in my face.
_________________
John & Cathy

'92 K100RS4V Pearl White SOLD
'04 K1200GT
IBA Several-SS1k, BBG, 50CC NYC to S.F.

[phydeauxbytes]

[Stoked Steve]

Too funny, I used to change my own oil, but now my company truck needs an oil change about every two months. Much easier and probably cheaper to to let the local "Grease Monkey" (no kidding, that's their name) do it and enjoy a Road and Track for 15 minutes and I'm out of there, with no oil to drop off at a recycling center.

I do the bike's though, that's not as often and not nearly as much oil.
_________________
Steve
Virginia Beach, VA
93 K1100RS Mystic Red SOLD
12 Suzuki DL650A VStrom

[fnord]

There was a place in Grants Pass, OR called "Lube-n-Latte."

If you've spent any time in the northwest US, you know how vital coffee is to keeping yourself from driving into one of the lovely, old-growth trees during the rainy season.

I don't know why it didn't catch on. Nationally, I mean. In GP, and a lot of the NW now, from what I understand, the Dutch Mafia seems to be cornering the coffee market.
_________________
1993 K1100RS
1999 Jeep Wrangler