K11 Owners Group

[Roy S.]

And that's how the fight started.....




One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot
as a Christmas gift...
The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.
When she asked me why, I replied,
"Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last
year!"
And that's how the fight started.....

______________________________

My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire
while we were in bed.
I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have Sex?'
'No,' she answered. I then said,
'Is that your final answer?'
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying,
'Yes..'
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And that's when the fight started...

________________________________

I took my wife to a restaurant.
The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
"I'll have the rump steak, rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"
"Nah, she can order for herself."

And that's when the fight started.....

________________________________

My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school
reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat
alone at a nearby table.
I asked her, "Do you know him?"
"Yes", she sighed,
"He's my old boyfriend.... I understand he took to drinking
right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been
sober since."
"My God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on
celebrating that long?"
And then the fight started...

________________________________

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept
hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had
something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat, making beer.. Always
something more important to me. Finally she thought of a clever way to
make her point.
When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall
grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I
watched silently for a short time and then went into the house.. I was gone only
a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. I said,
"When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."
The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a
limp.

________________________________

My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, "What's on TV?"
I said, "Dust."
And then the fight started...

________________________________


Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my
lunch, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to
the van, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind
was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and
discovered that the weather would be bad all day. I went back into the house,
quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed.. I cuddled up to my
wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out
there is terrible."
My loving wife of 5 years replied, "And, can you believe my
stupid husband is out fishing in that?"
And that's how the fight started...

________________________________


My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming
anniversary.
She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150
in about 3 seconds."
I bought her a bathroom scale.
And then the fight started......

________________________________

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to
apply for Social Security.
The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's
License to verify my age.
I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at
home.
I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to
go home and come back later.
The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.
So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough
for me' and she processed my Social Security application..
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my
experience at the Social Security office...
She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might
have gotten disability, too.'
And then the fight started...

________________________________

My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She was not happy with what she saw and said to me,
"I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.
I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
I replied, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."
And then the fight started
_________________
1993 K1100LT/On going project
1990 K75rt
1991 K75s
LURKER at LARGE

[robleyd]

I rear-ended a car this morning. So there we are alongside the road and slowly the driver gets out of the car . . . and you know how you just get sooo stressed and life seems to get funny?

Well, I could NOT believe it . . he was a DWARF! He storms over to my car, looks up at me and says, "I AM NOT HAPPY!"

So, I look down at him and say, "Well, which one are you then?"...

and THAT'S when the fight started.

[Courtesy of QDB]
_________________
David, owner of:
1996 K1100 LT